Feeling Like An Impostor? You Are Not Alone

Feeling like an Impostor?  You are not alone.  Over 70% of professional men and women have experienced Impostor Syndrome at some point in their career.  

My Experience

During my career, I had heard of impostor syndrome but hadn’t really given it too much thought.  It was only in the past few years that I really began to dive into understanding impostor syndrome, the impact it has on individuals and how to support individuals who are experiencing impostor syndrome.   

My A-Ha Moment

I was sitting in a year-end school administrators meeting a few years ago.  It was June and you could feel the excitement in the air as we were wrapping up the school year and getting ready for holidays.   One of the retiring principals stood up, totally impromptu, and wanted to offer the group some words of wisdom.  He began sharing the story of when he began a school principal for the first time.  At first he was elated to have been selected to run his own school, but self-doubts, fears and worries quickly set in.  He wondered if they had made a mistake in hiring and had meant to hire someone else.  Even though the hiring committee chair assured him that they were confident in his abilities to lead the school, and felt he was prepared to take on this role, he was worried about whether or not he had enough experience leading others, what if he didn’t have all the answers.   He said at first he felt like an impostor or fraud and was experiencing impostor syndrome.  

As he continued to talk about this experience, I knew exactly what he was saying and as I looked around the room, I could see many of my colleagues nodding their heads in agreement.  It was at this point, that I felt a sense of relief sweep over me because I had experienced similar feelings throughout my career--especially when I moved into leadership roles and then into coaching.   That was a light bulb moment for not only me; but, for others in the room because it was the first time that my feelings, and the feelings of my  colleagues, had a label attached to them.  It was gratifying to know that I was not alone. 

What is Impostor Syndrome?

It is a sense of inadequacy that can cause individuals to doubt their accomplishments, feel insecure, and avoid taking risks. Even though there is external evidence of someone’s success, those individuals with impostor syndrome continue to feel like a fraud and fear being exposed. 

What are the five impostor syndrome personas?

The five impostor syndrome personas are: 

1) The Perfectionist, who is constantly striving for perfection and is highly self-critical.  Even if they complete something and it is 99% perfect and 1% did not go as planned, they will ruminate over the 1%. You may hold yourself to unreasonable or unattainable standards of perfection.   

2) The Superwoman/man, who feels they must be the best in all areas and is driven to perfectionism. They feel they must be juggling many things in their personal and professional life, tend to work overtime to complete tasks, and may even neglect family and friends in order to work more.  

3) The Natural Genius, who believes they must be naturally talented and is afraid of not being able to live up to expectations.  They may compare themselves to others who may find the task at hand easy while the natural genius may struggle so they don’t bother trying.  When the natural genius faces setbacks in their career, they begin to self-doubt themselves.  

4) The Soloist, who is afraid to ask for help because they don’t want to feel inadequate and will rely solely on their own abilities. They feel they should now how to do certain things and asking for help can be seen as a sign of weakness.

5) The Expert, they feel that they are underachieving and need to learn more.  Even if the individual is successful in their field, they worry that they don’t have enough experience, training or education.  They are constantly striving for more.

Three Steps To Help You Begin to Tackle Impostor Syndrome

Normalize:  It is important to be aware of our feelings and how they impact our thoughts and actions or inactions.  Notice your emotions and feelings and the situations that your impostor tendencies are heightened.   Dan Siegl, a child psychologist, says that in order to deal with our emotions and feelings we need to learn to name them before we tame them.  It is important to recognize that no one likes to fail or feel inadequate.  The only difference between someone who feels like and impostor and someone who doesn’t is the person who feels like an impostor experiences feelings of shame when they don’t succeed.  A non-impostor is able to bounce back quicker with greater confidence and resilience and use the opportunity as a learning experience to move forward.  

Reframe:  Learn to reframe your negative inner dialogue.  For example, maybe you feel uncomfortable speaking up at a meeting because you don’t feel what you have to say is relevant.  So instead of thinking ‘I have nothing to say”, reframe it to “I am important part of this team and what I say has value.”  Reframing is a powerful skill and allows you to shift into a growth mindset.  

Move Forward:  Once you learn to normalize your feelings and then reframe the next step is to keep moving forward.  Don’t let procrastination, fear of not being perfect or good enough, or the thought that you got that new promotion because you were lucky, hold you back from your goals and dreams.  

Want to learn more about Impostor Syndrome, sign up for our 90-minute Impostor Syndrome workshop coming in the Spring of 2023.